F*#k Gordon Gekko
Gordon Gekko, as brilliantly played by Michael Douglas in Wall Street, is the archetype of that one person everyone wants to meet at a ‘networking event.’ He knows all the secrets, he’s met all the players, and you… YOU… THERE’S SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT YOU…
Of course, it should be pointed out(especially if you haven’t see Wall Street (which is a wonderful film, and has special prominence in today’s… ahem… market)) that the kid Gordon Gekko picks (Charlie Sheen) ends up going to jail, after testifying against his former mentor. So there’s happy endings for you.
I’ve been to lots of networking events, and it seems that everyone is looking for Gordon Gekko. Last night, I was at an IFP Summer Mixer.I was having a conversation with one individual who was looking for him so hard, he barely made eye contact with me. Which is a shame… I actually had a lead for him. In fact… it kind of went like this…
JEREMY
Hi, potential new friend. How are you?
FIDGET
Will you give me a lead? Are you a lead? Are you my competition? Should I eat your heart in the men’s room?
JEREMY
…no. In fact, I am in a position very similar to yours… professionally speaking, of course.
FIDGET
I have ketchup packets.
JEREMY
Well… this is feeling strangely awkward.
FIDGET
You are not a lead. You cannot help me. In fact, if I kill you, I will go to jail. You are hurting me by keeping my concentration. You’re killing me with distraction. I go away now.
JEREMY
Okay. Wow.
No… this is not good. You think Fidget here made a good impression on anyone else? Me neither. But, contrary to this particular circumstance, I had a great night because I didn’t look for Gordon Gekko. Generally, they don’t attend these things. Instead, I found a number of people who were hungry to get to work. People who were in it for the long haul. And they were funny, and smart, and moreover, the type of people who, really, GET SHIT DONE.
So, there you have it. Fuck Gordon Gekko. If you find one of these guys at a ‘Networking Event’, it’s a fluke and running up to him like a fourteen year old girl at a Jonas Brother’s concert is just demeaning. Instead, find those people who are going to work with you, maybe on the next project… maybe on the next decade.
Tags: Gordon Gekko, IFP, networking